Dangerous winter viruses


Alert in Alcatraz! Dangerous winter viruses are inevitably spreading in The Free Republic of Wellness. Curiously those new epidemics are proliferating whitout great concern inside the boundaries of Alcatrazian territory but terrifying Italy and Europe, where thinkers and scientists in charge for order and slothful serenity are searching for vaccines and drugs in order to contrast the diffusion of such colorful infections


Description of symptoms follows:


-       Friendococcus: Dangerous virus that attacks the brain cell in its DNA. The effects are irreversible and the infected victim can’t forget the exhilaration of the contagion. The carryings of the Virus speak delirious about magic moments and they are at times caught by uncontrollable laughter when trying to tell about specific episodes. The most dangerous consequences are the loss of sense of property, desire to practice generosity, need to invite friends at dinner and trust in others. The most diffused vaccines abroad are television, computer and other alienating devices. Today unfortunately those remedies turn out to be useless on the victims that result to be totally corrupted by the euphoria of compassion that seems to be unforgettable. 

-       Virus by contact with nature: peace and adventure sensations stick between toes and fingers of the infected. Impossibility to sit still on the armchair. The victims seem to go back to an animal state and compulsively they climb cherry trees and take their lovers out to watch sunset. Once back at home they can’t stop from separating garbage, consuming responsibly and any occasion is a good one for an outdoor excursion. Until today no cure and no vaccine have achieved to replace the desire for adventure in the unfortunates minds.

-       Immaginationoid Positivirus: The electroencephalogram  of the infected is scaring. The unfortunates become straight away victims of the rightsideoftheomelette syndrome. The people subject to testes are able to imagine improvements in any occasion and to turn situations upside-down into resounding and astonishing moments. Doctors are trying to cure them by inculcating worries and boring priorities. Verydangerousissimus Virus.

The citizens that recently frequented Alcatraz are supposed to contact the closest medical center, blow a raspberry and get quickly away. Or write to: info()repubblicadialcatraz.com